Clean Jokes

A hot dog walks into the bar, the bartender says "sorry sir, but we don't serve food here"

What's black and white, and black and white, and black and white?
A nun rolling down a hill

Where does the general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Ilene

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted.

Two tooth picks were walking down the street and they see a needle. One toothpick turns to the other and says "hey look, Robocop"

Two toothpicks were walking down the street and they see a porcupine. One toothpick turns to the other and says "Hey look, a party!"

5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Want to go ride bikes?

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogy in it.

How many Liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's a trick question, they still don't know they're in the dark

How many Conservatives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's a trick quest0ion, they still don't know they're in the dark

A grasshopper walked into the bar and the bartender says "Hey we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says "You have a drink named Larry?"

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do pilots get?
Mistletoe

What do you have when there are 100 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand

What's a pirate's favorite fruit?
A banarna Clean